The term "buttering ups" usually refers to the act of praising someone excessively in order to gain their favor or approval. The opposite of this behavior would be to criticize or speak negatively about someone. Some antonyms for "buttering ups" could include insulting, belittling, denigrating, berating, or disparaging. While it is important to be honest and direct in our communication with others, using insults or derogatory language is never an effective way to build strong relationships. Instead, it is best to approach difficult conversations with kindness, respect, and empathy, keeping in mind the power of our words to impact others positively or negatively.