The phrase "holding up shame" refers to feeling embarrassment or guilt over a past action or decision. There are many synonyms for this phrase that can help communicate this feeling, including feeling remorseful, regretful, embarrassed, ashamed, mortified, humiliated, or chagrined. These words all convey a sense of discomfort or unease about a past event, and can be particularly useful for expressing these emotions in writing or conversation. Ultimately, the choice of synonym will depend on the specific context and tone of the situation, but each of these options can be a valuable addition to a writer or speaker's vocabulary.